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But this recognition exists within the framework of positivity. The current concept of positive illusions first appeared in the s in a paper by the psychologist Shelley Taylor of the University of California, Los Angeles, and Jonathon Brown at Southern Methodist University. Positive illusions are common cognitive biases based on unrealistically favourable ideas about ourselves, others, our situation and the world around us.
Types of positive illusions include, among others, unrealistic optimism, the illusion of control, and illusory superiority that makes us overestimate our abilities and qualities in relation to others. Study after study indicates that such illusions are rife. Around per cent of people evaluate themselves as being above average in almost all parameters: in academic ability, job performance, immunity to bias, relationship happiness, IQ. However, cruel mathematical laws tell us that this is an illusion — all, by definition, cannot be above average.
The roots of the modern positivity trend can be found in the religious past, which once provided people with guidelines for life and the notion of salvation, offering a solid picture of the world with a happy ending. In our secular world, psychology fills a void left by religion, serving to provide explanations and give hope for a better life. Replacing religion with psychology keeps many features of the Christian tradition, for instance, intact.
The role of a counsellor or therapist, and our need to attend them, finds many analogies in the practice of a pastor and the tradition of confession. Both counsellor and pastor are figures with authority to claim what is wrong with you and tell you how to fix it.
The French philosopher Michel Foucault traced the origin of psychotherapy to pastorhood, elaborating on the idea that the initial religious goal of pastoral care was to deliver the individual to salvation. In the secularised world, salvation becomes a task that must be accomplished in our earthly life. Heaven is no longer about the transcendental realm, but about attaining a total state of happiness and transforming Earth itself into Heaven in the now.
Next to religion and its psychotherapeutic counterpart, philosophy could be considered heresy. The most problematic patient might be the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer , well known for his contention that suffering is unavoidable and a key part of human existence.
Schopenhauer argued that there is no meaning or purpose to existence, and that life is moved by an aimless striving that can never be fulfilled. He turns our positive worldview upside down — the normal basic mode of our existence is not happiness that, from time to time, gets disrupted by suffering.
Instead, life is itself a bone-deep suffering and endless mourning. He referred to anxiety as a basic mode of human existence and distinguishes between authentic and non-authentic human forms of living. We mostly live inauthentically in our everyday lives, where we are immersed in everyday tasks, troubles and worries, so that our awareness of the futility and meaninglessness of our existence is silenced by everyday noise.
We go to work, raise children, work on our relationships, clean the house, go to sleep, and do it all over again. The world around us seems to make sense, and is even richly meaningful. But the authentic life is disclosed only in anxiety. Then we become self-aware and can begin to think freely, rejecting the shared illusion that society has imposed. For Heidegger, anxiety represents a proper philosophical mood.
The Norwegian thinker Peter Wessel Zapffe took philosophical pessimism even further. Human consciousness is tragically overdeveloped, he said, resulting in existential angst. Humans have developed a need that cannot be fulfilled, since nature itself is meaningless; to survive, he argues, humanity has to repress this damaging surplus of consciousness. Zapffe named four universal defence mechanisms humankind has developed: isolation, including repression of disturbing and destructive thoughts and feelings; anchoring, the establishment of higher meanings and ideals.
Anchoring provides us with illusions that secure psychological comfort. The shortcoming of anchoring is the despair we feel upon discovering that our anchoring mechanism is an illusion; distraction, the focusing of our thoughts and energy on a certain idea or task to prevent the mind from self-reflection; and sublimation, a type of defence mechanism in which negative urges are transformed into more positive actions.
For instance, we distance ourselves from the tragedy of our existence and transform our awareness into philosophy, literature and art. The father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud was — like the philosophers — against religion, and claimed its purpose is to satisfy our infantile emotional needs. For Freud, the goal was helping patients to accept and reflect on the hell that life is. Not in any beyond, but here on Earth.
Despite its turn toward positivity , psychological theory includes one branch with a focus on the pessimistic philosophical tradition embraced by Freud himself. Alloy, of Temple University in Pennsylvania, and Abramson, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, tested the hypothesis by measuring the illusion of control. After interviews with a set of undergraduates, they divided the students into depressed and nondepressed groups. Each student had a choice of either pressing or not pressing a button, and received one of two outcomes: a green light or no green light.
Experimental settings presented the students with various degrees of control over the button, from 0 to per cent. Upon completing the tests, they were asked to analyse the degree of control their responses exerted over outcome — that is, how many times the green light came on as a result of their actions. It turned out that, the sadder but wiser students were more accurate in judging the degree of control they exerted.
Alloy and Abramson concluded that depressed students were less prone to illusions of control, and therefore showed greater realism. The nondepressed students, on the other hand, overestimated the degree of their control, and therefore were engaged in self-deception in favour of enhancing self-esteem. But subsequent studies have bolstered the idea. For instance, the Australian social psychologist Joseph Forgas and colleagues showed that sadness reinforces critical thinking: it helps people reduce judgmental bias, improve attention, increase perseverance, and generally promotes a more skeptical, detailed and attentive thinking style.
On the other hand, positive moods can lead to a less effortful and systematic thinking style. Depressive rumination is a problemsolving mechanism that promotes analysis Other researchers have looked at the evolutionary advantage of depression. For instance, Paul Andrews at Virginia Commonwealth University and J Anderson Thomson at the University of Virginia challenge the predominant medical view on depression as a disorder and biological dysfunction, and contend that it is, rather, an evolved adaptation.
The evolutionary function of depression is to develop analytical thinking mechanisms and to assist in solving complex mental problems. Depressive rumination helps us to concentrate and solve the problems we are ruminating about. However, though unpleasant, fever is not the product of biological malfunction. Rather, it is an important infection-fighting mechanism.
The impairments that fever causes are the adaptive outcome of trade-offs in body systems needed to fight the infection. Similarly, depressive rumination is a problemsolving mechanism that draws attention to and promotes analysis of certain problems. She claims that mental suffering signifies a disillusioning confrontation with the reality of existence.
That makes you want more, and your subconscious pushes the idea of seeking them to the forefront of your mind. For many people, the excitement and exhilaration of a crush never moves past happy feels into compulsive thoughts. What is it that pushes you from tantalising daydreams to debilitating obsession — from a pleasurable crush to involuntary limerence?
Something about them triggers a deep psychological connection that excites you romantically. Just what it is about them is a very interesting question, and will be based in your own personal history. They may represent a romantic archetype. They may remind you of formative bonding experiences from childhood. It may be something as idiosyncratic as their scent, their sense of humour, or the twinkle in their eye. Being around our crush makes us feel a natural high — at least when things are going well.
That positive feedback is rewarding, and so we seek more of it. The neuroscience of limerence is based around this reward feedback process. We find our crush arousing, that causes reward recognition, which causes euphoria, which makes us want more. Run that program for long enough, and a subtle change occurs within the brain.
Now, the reward circuit starts to motivate us. Instead of just enjoying the pleasure of reward, our brain prompts us to seek reward. One of the ways it does that is to remind us of our crush as often as it can. That can go really well if it turns out that your crush likes you too, and if you have the confidence and opportunity to declare your feelings. Oh my! However, life being the way it is, the path to romantic fulfillment is rarely so smooth.
More often, the way we interact with our crushes is more halting, cautious, and uncertain.
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So, how can you spot co-rumination? Expressing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences is an important way to build closeness and trust in your relationships. Have I spoken about this before? Learn your patterns With time, it will help to become aware of your patterns of communicating in times of high emotion. Certain topics are likely to bring on more venting or rumination and specific people may be easier to open up to.
Are there certain topics you tend to ruminate about work, romantic relationships, family problems, finances, health concerns? Are you more likely to co-ruminate in certain settings in person or on the phone, after or during work, while drinking alcohol? Are there certain people you tend to co-ruminate with? How can you move from co-rumination to healthy processing? Catch yourself co-ruminating and be compassionate Becoming more aware of our behaviors and patterns can often be enough to help us move from co-rumination to finding solutions.
Why be compassionate with yourself? Judgement and self-criticism will likely lead to more emotional reactivity and lessened clarity of thought, which only makes finding a solution more difficult. Switch to active problem-solving Ask yourself if there is a committed action step that can improve the situation right now, even in a small way. This therapy focuses both on the patient themselves and their habits of continually co-ruminating with a friend or friends. Therapies may need to be altered depending on the gender of each patient.
As suggested by Zlomke and Hahn [11] men showed vast improvement in anxiety and worrying symptoms by focusing their attention on how to handle a negative event through "refocus on planning". In other words, some of the cognitive emotion regulation strategies that work for men do not necessarily work for women and vice versa. Patients are encouraged to talk about their problems with friends and family members, but need to focus on a solution instead of focusing on the exact problem.
Types of relationships[ edit ] While the majority of studies have been conducted with youth same-sex friendships, others have explored co-rumination and correlates of co-rumination within other types of relationships. Research on co-rumination in the workplace has shown that discussions about workplace problems have led to mixed results, especially regarding gender differences.
In high abusive supervision settings, the effects of co-rumination were shown to intensify its negative effects for women, while associating lower negative effects for men. In low abusive supervision settings, results show that there were no significant effects for women, but had negative outcomes for men.
The study suggests the reason men are at risk for job dissatisfaction and depression in low stress supervision, is due to the gender differences at an early age. In another study, co-rumination was seen to increase the negative effects of burnout on perceived stress among co-workers, thereby indicating that, while co-rumination may be seen as a socially-supportive interaction, it could have negative psychological outcomes for co-workers. In addition, mother-adolescent co-rumination was related to positive relationship quality, but also to enmeshment which was unique to co-rumination.
These enmeshment as well as internalizing relations were strongest when co-ruminating was focused on the mother's problems. For instance, one study found that graduate students engage in co-rumination. Primary researchers[ edit ] Researchers in psychology and communication have studied the conceptualization of co-rumination along with the effects of the construct.
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